


Devil Like You

by DemonicPiano



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Demon Summoning, Demon/Human Relationships, Demons, Exorcisms, M/M, Priest!Russia, Yadda Yadda, demon!america, demons and monsters oh my, maybe a little making out too :), okay maybe just demons but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonicPiano/pseuds/DemonicPiano
Summary: Portals between the human world and Hell are opening up all around Father Braginsky's church. Only the demon king is capable of such a feat, and he wants only one thing.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 109





	Devil Like You

[Inspired by THIS song by Gareth Dunlop.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ctp70l6mCj8)

~

"Father, please forgive me. I have a great temptation to sin..."

"What now?"

"Uh, pardon?"

"What's the problem?"

"Well, my neighbor...he's always away on business trips, and his wife is left all alone in that big house...I-I cook for her, and we spend the evenings together, talking through the night."

"Uh-huh."

"I just...I want her, Father. I really do."

"Then why don't you ask for her?"

The man in the adjacent box bent forward, trying to peer into Father Braginsky's space. "Father?!"

Ivan ducked his head away from wide eyes, torn between snickering at the man's reaction or shaking his head at himself. He forgot how fragile these confessions' emotions were. Much lesser than demons, that was for sure. "The guilt will eat you up inside, yes? If the husband gives you permission to keep his wife company, then the both of you win! Maybe he could enjoy it, too."

"Oh, oh my God!"

"Yes, amen. That's all for today! Goodbye!"

Ivan ducked out of the confession booth.

The other door busted open after him with a furious, "Father!"

The head nun made her round through the pews, getting curious of the shouting. Her aged face immediately sank into stone as she latched onto Ivan, but he kept his head down. "What is all that commotion about?"

Ivan swerved around her, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shrugging as the little man from the booth huffed and puffed and threatened to blow the church down. "This man has no business being a priest! Did you hear what he just said to me?!"

"No, dear," the nun tried to assuage the man's reddened cheeks, "confessions are utmost in privacy." She offered a hand to guide him from Ivan, warning side-glare included, "You can tell me about it over here."

"Oh, good," Ivan was leaving anyway, without a look back.

~.~

That evening, the head nun made an appearance in his private office without knocking. Ivan straightened and blinked at her intrusion, though the worst he was at the moment was having his feet on his desk. "Yes, Sister?"

"You have a lot of nerve."

"I told you, I don't deal with people."

"You're a priest!"

"Exorcist!"

The nun tightened her jaw. She let out a soothing exhale, but her voice stayed on a tightrope of fury, "Well, as you know and _agreed_ upon, you are to fulfill traditional duties when the others are not with us."

"And I did. Anything else, Miss?"

She broke into a sneer, "You don't belong in the house of God."

"You're right," Ivan smiled. "I belong on the field, purging darkness and healing those in need...since the rest of you like sitting on your knees and wailing at the ceiling for mercy."

"I had enough of this!"

"Good. Leave."

The nun snatched the door knob, sending another scowl of distaste over her shoulder, "With your head full of demons all day and night, I'm shocked that you don't have horns coming from your skull as of yet."

"Yet," Ivan tightly agreed.

The door flew into the nun's shoulder as a young man spilled into their bubble. "Father!"

The nun turned away, not exactly rushing to leave yet as she nonchalantly rubbed her arm and flicked her veil behind herself. All the while Ivan elated, "Something exciting, I presume?"

"We have a tail!"

"Ah!" He rose, and it was possible to smile even more, "Now _that_ is upmost importance. Can't let those evil, scary demons swoop down and bite anybody, yes?"

The head nun poured the wrath of God unto his backside. If only.

~.~

"Screw you, priest! Screw you to the deepest pits of Hell!"

Ivan lowered himself to the asphalt of some desolate alley, eye to slitted eye of a shadowy creature, "You want to see me in Hell?" Clouds billowed around the demon's form, and he poked a hand through with an obligatory smile.

One of his fellow exorcists squeaked, "S-sir!"

Ignoring that, Ivan patted around until he found something solid. The demon twitched and let out a hiss as a hefty hand patted his head, but could not mean much against a neon-muzzle of a plastic squirt gun filled to the brim with holy water. "You want more of me, little one? We could arrange something."

"Pah!" The demon shook his head, trying to shed Ivan's hand. "Whatever you want, you're just going to kill me, anyway."

"If you answer my questions, then I suppose an exorcism would do."

Some of the exorcists exchanged wide-eyed glances, but they kept quiet.

Even the demon's gaze reflected their own. "How could I trust you? A _priest?"_

"You can't. The same reason I can't trust you not to come back when I banish you."

The demon slowly blinked. "Well, what the Hell do you want?"

"How did you get here? Did someone summon you?"

"As if I'd waste my time listening to your kind squall for some pathetic offer. No. I came through one of those rifts."

"A rift?"

"Yeah! A big one! They're all over town now, too. One of them just went 'poof!' right there! Ha!"

Ivan hummed, and his fingertip caught the rippled texture of one of the fiend's horns and started to poke at it, earning an flinch and grumble. "A rift, you say? I don't suppose you did that on your own."

" _Pfft!_ Of course not! I mean, I'm strong, but tearing a gateway between two worlds?! I don't think so?"

One of the exorcists murmured, "That explains the upsurge of activity we've been seeing."

"Then who could?"

The demon suddenly found peace and serenity.

Ivan gripped his horn in his palm and tugged upwards.

"Ugh! I don't know...uh, the king! Yeah, the king!"

"King?"

"Ha, yeah! I imagine tearing a veil through our worlds is as easy as tearing through skin."

Ivan shook his head, "You have a king?"

"Eh, yeah, that's what they say."

"You don't even know? Are you guys okay down there?"

"Sh-shut up. Nobody really knows him. I mean, there's a new king every time I take a shit. Only dumbasses try to rule over a bunch of demons. We do what we want."

"It must be someone powerful, though," Ivan pointed out, "to tear through worlds like that."

The demon's cheap grin immediately perished, and a beam of light from one of the exorcists' torches caught a hallowed eye, "Yeah...whatever. Whoever he is, he's doing his own thing. I do mine."

Ivan studied the fiend's pale face for a long moment, enough for him to start to shuffle uncomfortably against the asphalt. He then sprung a cheeky smile, "All right. I will let you go back to your...whatever-doings, little demon. If you see your king, tell him I said hi."

"Sir?!" One of his colleagues balked.

Ivan waved him and the demon off. "Toss him in one of the veils and close it."

His people moved on the dark creature, who hissed at their grabby hands, but at least had enough brains between his horns to know better if he wanted to get back wherever he crawled from with all four wings.

"Demon King," Ivan mused to himself. Chanting begun behind him. The alley flashed in green light, and the portal was closed. "That is a funny joke."

~.~

The demon snuffed and shuffled amongst wispy soil, tail twitching back and forth. Mostly unsettled, he took in the sight of stalactites and heat visibly wafting off pools of magma. It wasn't a sight he expected to see again. He supposed that was a good thing. A miniature excursion to the surface world was too cold and windy, anyway.

He turned tail, chin high, but immediately stopped as another winged figure sat on top of a ledge not too far from his own perch. He asked the newcomer, "What, you whacko? Got a staring problem?"

The newcomer chirped, "I do now!"

"You want a fight or something?"

"You want to fight me?"

"Well, you're staring, and I don't like it!"

A broad grin sprung across the newcomer's features, tanned, more so than usual for a denizen of the underworld. "You don't? Are you sure? Don't you think I'm cute?"

"What?! Do you have cobwebs in your head or something?!"

"Or something. That's okay. You're cute enough."

The demon spat, "I'm not fucking cute."

"Ooh, okay!" Newcomer held up his hands and sarcastically remarked, "Manly as Hell! Ha, ha...as Hell. That's a good one."

"Are you just bothering me for fun? Come off it!"

"Dude, relax. I'm just looking for somebody to spend my time with. That's all."

"Look somewhere else."

"But you're all alone..."

"Good!"

"You sure you don't want company?" The newcomer cooed, rocking his shoulders back and forth. "Not even from your King?"

"Ha! _You?_ King? Likely story."

"It's true. I am the King."

"Because you say so."

"Yep! Nobody else is saying it, so I have to!"

The demon grazed his eyes along the dirt, thinking for a moment. "Okay, even if you were the king, you had to come here for something."

The so-called King of Hell slung a long leg over the other. "Well, since I'm not going to find my other half around these parts, then you could tell me who exorcised you just now."

"What?! I...I wasn't exorcised! Who told you that!"

"Oh, honey, believe me. I can tell when one of my own are exorcised. Much different getting tossed in here, ass-first than just flapping back, isn't it?"

The manly demon gritted his fangs and turned his behind on his 'King' for a moment. Then back, trying half-heartedly, "Yeah. Damn priests must have been on my ass as soon as I put a toe on their land."

"It's not like the portals are obvious."

"They _are!"_

A giggle, "Yeah! I would know!"

"So what? You, uh, spying o-or something? You trying to poke fun at me?"

"Oh, not you. But you're not the first one that got the sack. You see, I opened those portals. It happens whenever I go up to the surface world."

_"Why?"_

"And you call me curious. I like the hustle and bustle of people. Plain and simple. Much more alive than this barren wasteland, huh?"

"I...guess?"

The 'King' sighed. "You guys sure aren't that good at carrying conversation, are you?"

Nothing.

"Well, riddle me this. You said priests snagged you. Usually, they blow your brains out, smite you into ashes. Why not now? There's been an influx of demons coming into their world, and yet there's a little area where they keep tossing you guys back in. Only in that spot, too. What's going on?"

"How should I know?!"

"You were up there."

Yeah, that was a dumb question. The demon huffed, "The head priest in that town is a total whack job."

"Pardon?"

"Yeah. I don't know. At least, that's what I think he is. Based on one of my pal's description, he's the same guy that's been tossing us back in. Real piece of work, that one."

"Uh-huh? Why do you say that?"

"He's just...a huge fucker, for starters. His damn hands were as big as my face! Laughing at me like that..."

"Mm, yeah?"

"He was smiling the whole time. His buddies looked like they were going to piss themselves if it weren't for their...stupid Nerf guns full of holy water. Ugh, he even petted one of my horns!"

The King tossed his head back and cackled, adding insult by clapping his hands like a nutjob. The King Nutjob. His subject sneered at him.

"What now? Are you going to vaporize me, sire?"

The joy and ruckus immediately cut off to a furrow of the brows. "What? Why would I do that?"

"Because...if you're the so-called King..."

"Yeah?"

"There's a guy making a joke out of us up there. That's bad news." The demon motioned vaguely with his claws as his 'King' stared blankly. "I just gave you bad news!"

"And?"

"Uh, usually, the head honchos blow up their henchmen for that!"

The King sputtered, repeatedly kicking his calves against his ledge, "What?! Why would I do that? If I vaporized everybody that gave me bad news, I wouldn't have a kingdom to run!"

"Oh."

"Do you _want_ me to vaporize you?"

"N-no, sir!"

"Good! Now scram, before I change my mind!"

The four-winged fiend did not need another moment to flee.

"Freaking demons!"

~.~

"Well, he better get back soon. I'm sick of sitting in that confession booth!" Ivan tossed out his office door before he retired for the night, "At least add a cushion for the bench!"

One of the pastors groaned in exasperation down the hall, "Father..."

Ivan closed the door and shook his head.

A chipper voice came from his desk, "What, your butt hurts? I can help you with that!"

The head priest stilled, only his eyes moving in a fluid motion to land on the figure relaxing in his chair, legs over one of the arms, and cramming a powdery doughnut down his gullet. A demon. Horns, wings, and all. In his office, like nobody's business. Eating his not-so-secret stash of treats. There were no portals nearby, certainly not in the middle of his own sanctuary, but here this fiend was, just tossing another round between his fangs and spewing powder all over his dark button-up.

Ivan whipped a pistol from his belt and fired off several rounds, right into the demon's chest. Sharp boots jumped and shook in the chair, and once the ringing in his ears eased, the demon blinked rapidly from the wisps of hot smoke coming from his body. He let out a dainty cough. "Wow. Those were laced with something, I'm sure of it." The horned fiend smacked his lips. "Rosemary?" He lifted his treat in the air, turning the half-demolished doughnut back and forth. "Now, how am I going to finish this when my esophagus is full of holes?"

A slosh, and he found himself doused in liquid. He spat out whatever touched his lips. "Okay...looks like I'm not eating _that_ now."

Ivan reached inside his coat and pulled out a tiny box. When the demon snapped, the matches flared into a burst of fire. He yelped and they fell to the floor and died into a clump of soot and charred wood. Nothing much left. Usually shooting the things and setting them on fire did the trick. He glared at an engraved sword above the window hanging over his desk, but that would entail climbing over his guest to get it.

"There's a trap under the rug."

The demon swiped some holy oil from his face and brushed his fingers over his shirt before snagging another doughnut. "Is there? Didn't stop me from getting these suckers from that filing cabinet over there."

Ivan stood before his desk, staring at another doughnut vanishing down the demon's gullet.

"Hey," the demon started with a mouth full of powder, "do you think I'm cute?"

"Since nothing on my person made you blink, I'm certain you could have killed me over and over in many different ways by now."

"I probably could."

"I'm not making a deal with you."

"What? Who said I was up here to make deals? That's rude."

Ivan loomed over the desk to snarl, "It's rude to break into my office and eat all of my snacks, isn't it?!"

The demon held out the almost-empty container. "Want one while they last?"

Ivan smacked the box. The remaining doughnuts and cardboard hit and bounced along the floor. The demon squalled at the lost, "I was gonna eat those!"

"Tell me why you are here, demon."

"Wow, okay, _human._ Not making a good first impression, are we?"

"You're one to talk!"

"Well, then, get me a towel or something! I'm covered in holy oil, and frankly, if you're thinking about it, I would not add this to a line-up for an up-and-coming perfume line."

Ivan gnashed his teeth, scowling at this creature that made itself comfortable in the middle of a church, licking doughnut powder off his fingers and catching his eye with a quick wink tossed somewhere in there. He had to let out the tension in his shoulders with an utterly baffled scoff of amusement. "You...yes...I will get a towel. You are a sight for sore eyes, demon. Try not to claw out anybody's insides while you're here."

"Thanks. I won't."

Ivan ducked out into the hall, swinging his head side-to-side. He tensed, realizing he put his back to the creature, but then shook it off. He wasn't dead yet, for whatever reason. It sure would be a pain to get the fiend out of there, though. Maybe he should grab a flame thrower from the basement real quick. Those seemed to do the trick for particularly hardy ones.

He grabbed a spare hand towel from his living quarters, and slid back into his office, ever pondering.

Ivan stopped, staring at his desk.

The demon was gone.

A lone doughnut nestled in a napkin rested on top of the surface. The box and powder were gone from the floor.

A quick sweep around the room, and everything that was locked was still locked, and anything else was untouched. Beside his doughnuts.

Was the creature trying to get a rise out of him? Was he simply curious? Did he just want small talk? Either way, Ivan's mind ran back and forth and side to side, and he cursed at the night sky;

"Fucking demons!"

~.~

"Sir! Sir, we have another tail!"

Ivan groaned from his desk. Although demon-exorcising was, well, good exercise, it would be nice to have one day off. Really. He stowed an engraved flask into one of his desk drawers before an exorcist-in-training burst into the room. "Sir!"

"I heard you."

The boy gawked, mouth hung open, and slowly shook his head. "It's in the church."

Ivan blinked. Shoulders slouched. "Of course it is." He finally peeled his behind from his chair, snagged a few tranquilizing bullets from a basket on his filing cabinet, and slammed them into his firearm. "If it is such a big, bad, scary thing, then you should stay out of it. Go and make sure everyone is unharmed."

"Y-yes, sir!"

Ivan rolled his eyes. These creatures were getting bold. Not even killing anybody. People were dying more often trying to cross the street than by demon claw these days. They were more of a...nuisance, trying to get people to sell their souls, or simply eating up anything in sight, even right out of people's hands like some kind of dark, rabid seagulls. Still, being able to cross holy thresholds kept priests on their toes. He hurried down the corridor. Hollers of fright and fury sounded from the floor below. It was a good thing that evening mass wasn't for another a few hours.

"So where is he? Where's that big, ol' sexy bastard?"

"Be gone, abomination!"

A flash. Ivan pressed against a wall at the bottom of one of the side staircases. It must have been an exorcism going off. He crept forward, shadowed beneath the upstairs balcony, coming closer to the commotion that must have been unfolding in the main area.

A snicker and snort, "Bitch, please, those ears are an abomination."

An unmistakable _swoosh_ of a demon-banishing sigil went off. Silence. Then laughter, "Hey, I kind of felt that one."

Ivan shoved from the wall, hustling into the commons with his weapon pointed from his body. Several exorcists hovered over the pews, eyes wide and their own defenses failing. A head of black hair sat up from one of the benches.

None other than the doughnut-thieving demon, and he gasped excitedly, "Oh, there you are!"

As soon as he opened his mouth, Ivan fired off three consecutive rounds that sank into the fiend's chest.

"Aren't you ever going to say hi first?!"

Ivan yelled to his colleagues, "Get pins! Now!"

The demon pouted, pushing from the bench with a grunt. "Well, that's no fun." He slowed, wobbled. Furrowed his brows together as Ivan held a hand out and started to chant. The needles in his skin formed a tri-point symbol, and he stumbled forward. "What the-"

Ivan made a yanking motion as soon as some of the other exorcists scraped their blades on the floor. The demon planted face-first onto the cold, unforgiving tiles. Glowing webs spawned from the bullets and merged into the points around him. He was bolted to the ground. The fiend squirmed, getting a hold of his predicament. Wiggling. Ivan and the exorcists watched with baited breaths. He pulled a little, but his wrists and chest strained against his prison. "Huh, okay, that's something."

"I am a little more prepared this time," Ivan told the demon. "Why are you here?"

The creature tucked his leg under himself, only to get into a kneeling position, but that seemed to be a struggle. He huffed against his cords, "I wanted to see you again, silly." He pulled a half-smile. "Maybe get some more snacks."

One of the exorcists picked his head up. "Again?"

Ivan kept his scowl on the demon. "Name and reason to visit."

"Oh!" The demon slouched his head to one side, piercing blue eyes wide and moony, "It's nice that you want to talk. I like that. Usually y'all priests screech, 'Agh! Demon! Kill it!' and not even, 'Hey, you have some issues we could talk about-'"

Ivan snapped his fingers, and the binds flashed in a burst of light. The demon doubled over with a hiss.

"Ooh, bossy," he winced, "I don't get on my knees for a guy or gal until the third date."

More pained grunts. One of the exorcists gulped and glanced around the room. "Can we just do away with it already?"

"In a moment," Ivan said. "Would asking something simple as a name be a first-date kind of inquiry?"

The demon straightened as much as he could, but a toothy smile stretched along his cheeks, "Alfred. King Alfred, actually."

"King Alfred. A king? King of demons?"

"That's right!"

Another priest muttered, "Not that impressive, if you ask me."

Alfred sent a pout his way, "That's rude."

Ivan mused, "So, your kind really has a king."

"Yep!"

He blurted, "You're such a puny little thing, though."

'King' Alfred's face scrunched from a moment of crudeness, but that soon melted into a short laugh, "Well, next to you, big guy, I'm sure everyone's puny."

"I do not flirt with demons."

"Then what do you do?"

"I exorcise them. Obviously. Or kill them, if necessary. Now, King Alfred, is it necessary?"

"Nah. I'm just chilling."

"Chilling? In a church?"

"Yeah! It's nice and clean in here!"

"Okay. So, this is a joke. A little...what do they call it? Fun run?" Ivan sighed, palming his belt as he approached the fiend. "I didn't expect the King of Hell to be so boring."

Alfred let out an offended squawk, "Hey, I'm not boring!" His slitted eyes glanced down to where Ivan's hands went; pulling out a dagger. He put on a big grin. "If you untie me, I could show you."

Ivan wasted no time in plunging the knife into the demon's chest, right in the middle of the bullet wounds. Alfred yelled, then tapered off to almost-annoyed groaning as the exorcists began to chant in union. A light sprouted from Ivan's blade, and the demon grunted, tipped his head back, and squeezed his eyes shut.

The church filled with an overwhelming flash. Then, it was gone.

The exorcists winked and blinked, and straightened to survey the aftermath.

The demon was still there.

Ivan stumbled backwards in shock.

Alfred let out a soft moan and slumped forward, the tip of his tail trembling against the tiled floors, "Oh, man, that hurt. That hurt, but it felt so good..."

One of the exorcists balked, "He's still here?!"

Ivan shouted over the building murmurs of worry, "Get the flame thrower."

"Oh, baby. Hey, hey," Alfred's head lolled to the side so he could speak somewhat clearly, "You don't need to do all that! It's not going to work anyway."

"It'll reduce you down to mere ash, and we will cut up the rest of you, put it in separate boxes, and send them out in opposite directions." Ivan sneered at the fiend, "Do not tell me that will not work, because it will. I know it will. I've seen it happen."

Alfred pulled himself up again, sighing and sitting back on his haunches. The front of his shirt had been blown off, but the body underneath was already well underway to coming together again. He grinned down the head priest's undisguised intrigue. "You know...you're kind of really fucking hot. Even for a guy that jammed a knife into my chest."

"That is..." Ivan shook his head, trying to pretend he did not see a tongue waggling in his direction. "Stop being weird, please."

"What are you going to do?" Alfred managed a giggle. A giggle, despite the horrendous burns scored across his chest, "You already got me tied down. You got me captured with those _eyes."_ A gasp, "You know what? I could like you. I can tell you a sure-fire way to get me out of here."

Ivan rolled said eyes. They were a dead purple. The demon was just being stupid in his prison. "Yes, and I'm sure you'll just announce it aloud for everyone to hear."

"Kiss me."

Ivan stared.

"Kiss me," the demon repeated.

To one of the others, "Is that flame thrower almost here?"

"Almost. Sir, we should take him out back. The fire could permanently damage the church-"

"We could put a barrier of protection up around the thrower. We cannot risk the demon wriggling out of his binds."

Alfred sighed.

The others came back with a hefty weapon in tow. "Got it!"

Ivan nodded in approval. "Put up a protection barrier. We want minimal damage to the church." He locked eyes with the demon, "But maximum damage to him."

A wink. "See? You _can_ make me blush."

Ivan swung his head side-to-side. "Make sure all of you are well out of the way."

Barrier up, everyone back. Ivan affixed the torrent to point into blue, blue eyes.

"Hey!" Alfred sprung a grin. "Did someone call for a demon barbeque?!"

The church imploded in a whirlwind of flame. Some of the guys shielded themselves and their eyes, murmuring in worry...as they always do. Ivan let loose for a good five seconds before letting up. A canon ball of fire swelled inside the protective bubble. Surely the floor was destroyed, but if it took the demon with it, then good riddance.

Someone asked, "Is it over?"

"Give it a few minutes to settle. Get some buckets of water." Ivan swayed, surveying the hot orange flames billowing over themselves. The rest of the barrier was filled to the brim with shadow and smoke. He nodded approvingly. Something long shot out of the mess, and he yelled in shock. Shadowy claws latched onto his collar, and an equally wispy humanoid form pulled itself from ash and flame with a familiar giggle. He took a sharp breath, but choked on the gusts of smoke pouring out of the barrier. A shape of darkness pressed against his mouth, sealing his lungs from precious air. His hands flailed rather clumsily, but hit nothing as soft whooshes of clouds billowed around him and the demon's loose form.

His colleagues shouted around him, "Father!"

"Sir!"

"Father Braginsky!"

"Do...do we just shoot it?!"

Ivan let out a muffled grunt against whatever was squishing against his face, the lack of air getting painful for a moment before he was released. The flames suddenly lost their fight, leaving smoke to spill into the air. Lively blue eyes shone down on Ivan as he sputtered and coughed.

"I _really_ like a man that makes me get serious." A flash of metal, and something clattered onto the floor at his feet. The unmistakable fall of a blade. "Please, call me sometime."

Too-warm skin brushed Ivan's cheek once more, and then in a great swoop of night, the demon was gone.

Ivan stumbled back, legs giving out, but his group was there to catch him from acquainting the floor. Their voices collided into one another as they yammered, "Are you okay?" and, "Father! Father Braginsky, are you well?"

He let out a little cough.

~.~

Although it sounded typical, but _something_ had to be done. That supposed Demon-King, Alfred, did not even flinch against any sigil, any bind, any flame-thrower filled to the brim with holy oil. If anything _did_ manage a bat of the eye or two, it was merely temporary. He kept coming back, smiling and rejoicing Braginsky's presence like they were old comrades. Perhaps they were dealing with the devil-incarnate. Something had to be done. Something. Something, something, something.

Alfred touched his face, and he felt warm.

Most of the old tomes and lore did not help, focusing on what to do in the case of demonic-possession, or preventing such, but how could they prevent something that was already happening? Only a few kick-in-the-ass, down to the nitty-gritty spells and incantations offered - maybe - a peace of mind for a moment.

To think this fiend was so powerful, everything to him was a joke. Ivan, pouring over books and books and more books at his desk, swiped a palm over his mouth. A silly, giggly fiend, that Alfred was.

A knock on the door roused the priest from his studies. Ivan sighed and took the opportunity to straighten his shoulders. "Yes? Come in."

One of the younger exorcists peeked his head inside. "Father? I have something of yours."

"Bring it, then."

The boy brought over a bundle of cloth. He glimpsed at the piles of tomes on and around Ivan's desk, and set his catch on top of a random one. "It's your knife, sir. You left it downstairs when you went to the infirmary. Are you better?"

"Kicking demon's asses kicks your own, as I like to say." Ivan managed a little rumble of humor, and reached for the cloth. "Yes, I am better."

"That's good to hear. When...when that...that thing came close to you, I thought he'd left a little piece of himself inside. That's what usually happens, isn't it?"

"Yes, but this one is not usual, yes?" Ivan stilled, staring down his blade. Someone had haphazardly wiped it, but an odd scrawl had been etched into its shaft.

"Father?" The boy prompted under silence. He peered over the books. "Is that...is that a demon summoning sigil, sir?"

Ivan pulled himself from scowling at his now-ruined blade. Surely its holy properties have been negated under the hellish scratches. "You've been studying. Yes, it is."

"They still make those?"

"Ha! Apparently."

The boy looked on, eyes wide. Traumatized.

Ivan let out a little sigh. "How are the others? Go check on them, please."

"I just came from the infirmary-"

"Do it again. Make sure they went under the cleansing rituals twice."

"As you have, sir?"

Ivan lied, "Yes, as I have. Don't forget the candles on the windows, and make sure the door is locked before you leave."

Still shaken, the boy nodded, "Yes, Father."

Ivan was in his own company...with the blade he trusted for years. Rusted lines scrawled into its metal, and they filled him with prickly discontent. Now tampered, it was just a normal knife as much as one could be against a demon. He rose from his desk, leaving his current book open on a page of sigils. After double checking the door was locked, his heart started to hammer. Out of his filing cabinet, Ivan pulled out candles and chalk and lowered himself to the floor before his desk. Copying from the etches on his knife, the symbols King Alfred left behind weren't too complicated for a such a powerful creature.

The sigil was done. Ivan was eager to glance away from his busy-work and round his desk. He pulled in a long inhale, which sharply came out of his nose. Then, he flung the knife into the middle of the art work, calling, "Alfred! Come forth, you supposed king!"

Nothing. Ivan lowered a shaky arm. The candles leisurely flickered, and his jaw grew tight. Unleashing another sigh, he found his seat again to rub his fingertips to his eyes.

Warm palms cupped his cheeks from behind, and a soft croon stopped him from leaping out of his seat, "Hey, shush. _Shh."_ Ivan balled a fist against his lap as he leaned back on his chair. Alfred stepped around, dragging a claw to his chin to guide their eyes to one another. "I came on my own time, but for you, darling, I'll be quick."

"Ah." Ivan tried to suppress a hard swallow, "Is that why the summoning circle did not work?"

Alfred's face lit up from a broad smile, "I still got the call." Beat. A little rub to the priest's chin before he tapped a claw tip to his nose. Another giggle. "If you want to trap me, all you have to do is ask me to be yours."

This creature oozed pride and power. Ivan felt pathetic. "If you are so powerful, why haven't you killed me yet? O-or cause the typical mayhem?"

"Are you here to grill me?" Alfred pulled away to run his gaze over the many books littering the study. A short hum, "These are blatant caricatures of my kind. I don't even like eating people. Who would make me hamburgers in the meantime?"

Ivan's face twisted, almost betraying a bewildered grin. "Hamburgers? Over humans? You baffle me, Mister Alfred."

"Cheese goes better on beef."

"What do you want? What are you waiting for?"

Alfred turned back, sinking his piercing eyes into Ivan's, and pulled a dazzling smile. "What do you think I want? Since I'm a demon, and all."

"A game," Ivan answered right away. "Just asking that proves it."

"Yeah?"

"Yes! Or the very least...ah..." Ivan shook his head, scrabbling for something coherent against the loss of common sense of inviting a demon into his quarters for a bit of clarity, "Take my toes?"

"Did you want me to take your toes? Hm! They _could_ make a decent necklace." Alfred lightly drug a claw against the top of Ivan's collar, pursing his lips in whatever thought he had. "It's nice of you to offer your toes to me, honey, but if I'm getting you, I want the whole thing."

Ivan jerked his head away, earning another laugh. This demon laughed so freely. "You're obviously strong. You seep in your apparent invulnerability. Your kind would wield that to hold both worlds and those beyond with an iron fist...or claw."

"Oh, yeah! Lesser demons, for sure!" Alfred pushed the book open on Ivan's desk back so he could make himself comfortable, welcoming his long, leather clad legs to breech his lap. "Isn't that typical? Well, I'm a _King._ I already have all of that."

"Not everything."

Alfred grinned.

A sigh. "What could you possibly want from a lowly exorcist as myself? Or the church, one in hundreds around the area?"

"Baby," Alfred leaned forward with a pout. Ivan clenched his teeth. If demons could plead, "Don't talk down on yourself like that. You've been making a name for yourself down-below, you know. I had to get in. I've been watching you." So quickly, that supposed droop sprung into a wicked delight, "I got to say, I'm impressed. You're made differently from other exorcists."

Ivan had to scoff and laugh at that one. "If that is what you are doing, then you should know the reasons you should _not_ be."

Alfred sat back, and stuck his palms on the desk. His hand landed on one of the open pages, and he pulled away with a shrug, "Your blatant agnosticism doesn't faze me like it does to your cheesy priests." Leaning to the side, he yanked open the lone desk drawer to rattle around.

"What are you doing-"

"Surely, you're not talking about this little thing!"

Completely ignoring the brass cross on the flask he fished out, Alfred unscrewed the lid and tipped it back. Ivan felt one of his eyebrows twitch. "Blehech?! Is that... _cucumber_ vodka? Wow!" Alfred puckered and waggled his head side-to-side. "Hm, I got to..." Another swig. "I think I could get used to that. It's different." Another cheeky grin, "Hey, like you!"

"So, my supposed difference makes me a marvel to put in a demon-zoo, and you and your little demon minions can poke me with pitchforks?"

"Wo-ow! You are one kinky motherfucker."

"Said the pot to the kettle."

Alfred finally stopped sucking on the now-empty flask to let loose another round of giggling. "You know what I want?"

"Are you going to tell me already, or are you going to wait until I'm gray, Mister Demon?"

"What ever King wants." Alfred shrugged. His expression grew gentle, easing from mania, "A Queen."

Ivan blinked. Let out a bewildered laugh. "That is not the direction I expected you to go in."

"I know, sweetie." A wink. "Don't I keep you on your toes?"

"Hm. This is something entirely," Ivan murmured to himself, running his eyes over his books before they caught the legs against his lap. It would make sense, given the minimal amount of demon-caused damage and casualties if their King was simply seeking out a mate. Something about the prospect of a Demon- _Queen_ made his stomach churn in a unpleasant way.

Talk about a power couple.

Alfred broke his internal musings with a low, "I'm asking you, Ivan."

Ivan lifted his head, probably looking dumb as he winked and blinked from heavy thought. "What?"

"Oh, you know, instead of stumbling in here after banishing demon after demon, listening to those pastors yammer on and on about sins that I'm sure the angels don't give a damn about, then coming up here, drowning the rest of your night on weird tasting vodka, before passing out at your desk, over these old, smelly books and waking up to do it all over again."

No wonder people fall over themselves trying to strike up deals with these fiends. They hit spot-on. Ivan winced. "Someone has to do it. You demons kill people."

"Again, not all demons. Most of us just want to fuck off and be left alone." Alfred slipped off the desk to drop to his knee. "I, however, don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Afterlife. Whatever. Do you?"

"Keep talking, Alfred."

"Would you let me take you to be by my side as my queen of the underworld, for as long as we may reign?"

Ivan sighed and took a hold of the book left open on his desk. "That was sarcasm. Apparently, I'm not too good at it yet."

"I'm being serious-"

Ivan shoved the book into the demon's face and whispered a hasty psalm.

"Hey!" Arms flailed and grab the tome, "You could have just said-"

Alfred was gone, swept away in holy light. A few dark feathers drifted to the floor.

Ivan settled back in his chair, chuckling and shaking his head as he closed his book.

~.~

"Jeez, these things are everywhere. Why don't those demons give it a rest? How many is that now? Twelve?"

Ivan, with his palm raised toward a glowing crack on a brick wall, finished his monologue before clapping his holy booklet shut. The seam welded into non-existence with a ominous hiss. He turned to the complainer, "I thought I told you to wait until I'm done sealing the underworld away from ours to speak. You do not want to say the wrong thing and tempt it to grow stronger, do you?"

"N-no, sir! Sorry, sir."

Ivan smiled. "Good. And that's eight. Not twelve."

"What?"

He swung his head, and called to the teeny gathering of exorcists, "Let's go. We only have a few more left on this block."

"Are you well, Father?"

"Yes!" Ivan spun on one of his comrades, towering over his vague concern, "Do I not look all right?"

"Uh, n-no! No! I mean, you do, but..." The exorcist sucked in air, "We've been at this for two hours. _You've_ been at this for two hours."

"Yes, I seal up the fixtures, and you make sure nothing jumps out to bite me while I'm doing it. That is fair."

"Doesn't it get tiring?"

"Of course it does. Channeling holy light does get exhausting in every way, but would you rather dark creatures roam the street instead?"

Another exorcist laughed, "Yeah, they tell you to look for deer, but could you imagine plowing into a demon with your car?"

Amused rumbles rose from the group. Ivan had to put on a half, twisted smile. "A modern take on demon-banishment. Let us keep walking."

The nuisance persisted, "It seems like they don't really appreciate your efforts."

Ivan had to roll his eyes, following the back of the group as they kept their plastic squirters held loosely in their hands. "I'm sure being able to live a normal life everyday without a demon clawing at their eyes is appreciating enough."

"They don't even call on you unless they need something from you."

Ivan's boots scraped on the asphalt.

"Baby," Alfred's voice came to him from the walls. From the sky. The ground. Ivan tossed his head around. "What do they ever give to _you?"_

Ivan eased his shoulders, laughing out loud, "Typical demon." It came from his headspace. "Always wanting something in return."

Nothing.

He kept walking.

The exorcists glanced behind themselves once their priest lagged a few steps behind, baffled at the sight of him chuckling at thin-air.

One of them suggested, "I definitely think we should call it a night."

~.~

"You're never present."

"I have been performing my holy duties, if it concerns you so much."

The head nun followed Ivan through the main commons and up the stairs, sharp voice ever present and yammering in his ear, "You seem to forget your holy duties in house."

"I'm closing rifts between our world and the demons'! What could possibly be here?"

"The people, Father! They're worried in this time of darkness. Don't you know our city is the only one in the region suffering from these strangers?"

Ivan whirled on her before he could get close to his office. "What are you doing, then?"

She glared over her glasses, "Everything you're not."

Ivan let out a soft scoff as he turned away.

"Does that amuse you, Father?"

"Have you ever fought a demon, Sister?"

Nothing.

"Ah. I thought so." Ivan put a hand on his door knob with a tight smile, "How about I keep doing what I do best, and rest of you that like to hide in corners when the time comes, watch over the lost little ducklings that find their way here?"

The nun clenched her jaw, her voice dipped low in fury, "It's the only reason they still keep you around."

"Thank you."

~.~

"Sir, there's another rift. We already had someone almost drive into it."

Ivan let out a peel of giggles at the thought from his desk. "Why are you telling me about it? Go on, at least two of you know the ritual."

"Um...there's...I-I think it's best if you see this one for yourself."

Ivan lolled his head to the side, then back again. His colleague still remained rooted in the doorway. A sharp sigh, and he peeled his feet off his desk and scrawled notes fluttered to the floor. A wobble. Step, step, step.

The exorcist curled his nose. "Father...are you...inebriated?"

"Shh."

"Father! How could you?!" Another yappy voice to scold his ear drums apart, "What if a demon bursts in here while you are not at your best?!"

Ivan unleashed heartily laughter throughout the church. "As if I'm ever at my best! Bwahaha!"

"Sir?!"

~.~

There was a veil torn between the overworld and the demonic realm, that was for sure. Wow. Caution tape stretched across the road, so no oblivious passersby stepped into an eternity of torture just because they wouldn't pay attention. Perhaps that would simply be natural selection, and a tasty dinner for the underworld's inhabitants.

Several corpses of said inhabitants littered the ground - those that did not simply turn back from where they came from, and met their end against the exorcists' holy bursts of demon-be-gone. Eerie howls of wind and heat and green-ish glowing emitted from the rift, but that was usual for those kinds of things.

What was unusual is swaths of rose petals spilt all over the street into letters, 'S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T,' followed by a comical almost heart-shape beneath, reading 'I-V-A-N.'

The exorcists were absolutely confounded.

Ivan stared at the petals for a moment too long. "Thank you for showing me this. Sweep the flowers into the pit, and I will close it."

"But sir? What does it mean? It says _your_ name on it."

"Demons are stupid," Ivan concluded. "They do stupid things."

None of the exorcists cheered and clapped from his wise words.

"Let's go! I have to close this!"

"Yes, sir."

~.~

Back to the church. Back to stealing sips out of his flask. Luckily, it was late enough for anybody to leave Ivan alone for the night. Anybody from the church, that is.

Ivan's scribbles and vague ideas on the King of Hell fell onto his desk. Strong hands palmed his shoulders. He barely turned his head in the demon's direction. "What?"

Dark hair tickled his jaw, and Alfred's cheek brushed his collar and neck with a deep inhale. "Are you drunk? Naughty, naughty priest."

"Be quiet, silly devil."

Alfred straightened, going back to squeezing his shoulders. Ivan grunted, letting it happen. "Did you like the roses?"

The room wobbled a bit, but the knick-knacks stayed on their shelves.

"Baby?"

"Roses are nice flowers," Ivan slurred. "Where did you steal them?"

"I picked them myself." Alfred held a hand out, revealing faint scores across his fingers.

"Ah, so it was out of somebody's garden!"

Teeth clacked together beside his ear. Ivan flinched with a hearty giggle.

"Come with me."

"So you can...push me into one of those...holes you and your... _hic,_ minions are tore into?"

"Nah," King Alfred leaned against the backside of Ivan's chair to welcome his hands to run up and down sturdy arms. "If I really wanted to do that, I'd do it right here and now."

"Why not?"

"Because, honey..." A whisper injected poison and warmth into Ivan's skin, "I want you completely coherent when you give yourself to me."

Ivan simply blinked, eyes and ears swimming. The demon could totally take advantage, strike up a deal he knew he wouldn't remember in the morning. Make a grab for his soul. Yet Alfred never did. Exorcisms, traps, holy symbols, and much, much more bowed to this King. Yet he purred graciously as Ivan tipped his head back to his touches. His hands were warm, and claws gentle against his skin. Would a fiend shackled to a life of brimstone and molten find it within themselves to embrace joy and love as the overworld did?

Maybe he drank too much that night.

"Why?" Ivan whispered. "Why me?"

"People ask that when they're getting a pitchfork through their stomach."

A grunt.

"That was supposed to be a joke."

"Ha-ha."

"We don't really have pitchforks. Don't need 'em."

"Answer question."

"Ooh, bossy." A claw slid under Ivan's fringe and traced along his hairline. "I think I like that. That's why."

Ivan took a steadying breath to get words to come out when he just wanted to sleep, "How...how many people you ask that?"

"Only a handful. They all said no, obviously. Some even ran away."

"Why they do that?" Ivan's gaze slid to the muted, tanned face in the corner of his eye. "They don't like blonds?"

Alfred's eyes went wide for a quick moment. He pulled his head away, giving a shake to nothing in particular for a moment. "Damn roots. No, being blond is a sign of inferiority down below. Not that's the real issue here." Shrugging, "I'm just too powerful. They're plebs, and can't handle my sheer awesomeness."

Ivan giggled, and a hand lifted on its own to clumsily run down Alfred's cheek, which surprised him, as Alfred gawked at his catch. "And you just want me to walk down there."

"You wouldn't take their crap."

"Hm."

"Come with me. I'll take care of you when you don't take care of yourself. It's all I want to do."

Ivan muttered about plucking out eyes, or something.

"I'm not going to do that. I actually like your eyes." Alfred drew close to coo and tap a fingertip to Ivan's nose, "Except when they look dead on the inside. You got to knock that off."

"Stupid."

"Yeah?"

"Temp...tempt...demons...are attractive."

Alfred perked up, almost unleashing a delighted chirp, "You think I'm attractive?"

"You're demon." Ivan let his eyes close. The flask barely hanging onto his fingers slumped to the floor. It was empty, anyway. "Supposed to be like that."

The priest was knocked out cold.

Alfred tipped his head, waiting for anything else as his tail gave an eager flick, but was met with a soft snore. He grinned, pushing from his slump against the chair, stretching his wings and legs, and almost knocked over a sculpture of Christ on a cross. "Oops!" A snicker. He pulled around Ivan's form to peek at his downcasted face.

"You keep talking about what we do to you, but do you have any idea what your bodies, your minds, your songs do to us?" Alfred gazed at the man's cheap sleep for a long moment. A door down the hall closed, startling him from the desk. He put a quick arm around Ivan's shoulders and planted a kiss on top of his head. The door to the office opened just as a _whoosh_ ran by a busybody's ears. The priest was alone.

~.~

A terrible morning. Too bright. Too much scorn and clucking from the head nun. Well, she was the one that had to barge into his place the night before and see him 'letting himself go,' as she put it.

"You didn't even shave this morning! Ugh! Father!"

Alfred visited last night; he knew that. Blue eyes peering into his soul prompted a delighted waggle of the hips at whatever he found, but Ivan could not pinpoint anything they talked about. The evening was most likely filled with the demon latching onto his vulnerable form and whispering evil things into his ear.

Yet, what evils were they, that they stayed with nothing new, nothing dangerous except the vague notion that he would be dragged into one of those rifts and torn apart. It seemed so silly now, to think of it. If that was the King's gameplan, Ivan was walking right into it.

What victory would it be, for it not to be a surprise?

Ivan caught pieces of recollections, a dazzling grin, a warm breath caressing his ear. He felt his heart leap to begin a curious beat as he paced around the pews, looking busy. He was not scared.

"Father?" A youthful voice shattered his thoughts spiraling out of control. One of the alter boys called out, "Is everything all right?"

Ivan picked up his head, almost forgetting how to smile somewhat normal as his mind was still in smoke. "Yes...I was..." He struggled against reality, cold, lonely, scornful reality, "I was making sure everything is okay for mass!"

"Father..." Concern, "Mass already happened. You were upstairs."

"Ah, it's...I was checking for...after-mass!"

"After-mass? Father, are you all right?"

Damn this child. Ivan pulled a broader grin, and pointed verbosely to the tiled floor, "Yes! Sometimes our guests leave things behind and we must make sure it gets back to them, yes?"

"Do you need help?"

That depended on what kind of help. Ivan tried to keep joy plastered on his face. "No, that is okay. I am done here."

The alter boy wandered away, not before tossing a skittish, wide-eyed look over his shoulder. Ivan glanced away, catching sight of one of the nuns watching him from shadows of the upper floor's balcony. Usually, they shyly smile and murmur a joyous, "Father."

She merely nodded, not even bothering to pull a fake smile.

Ivan passed her by, wandering to look busy until his next tail, and caught her performing a cross in front of herself.

~.~

"Are you alone?"

Ivan made sure all of the candles were lit with holy oil. He gazed outside through a plain window from a secluded hall to some restrooms, to the early fall frost creeping onto the world.

Alfred's voice prodded again, "Are you _lonely?"_

The candle flickered. Tiny droplets against the glass sank lower and lower, merging into a shape at the bottom - a heart.

"Why play these mind games if I already know what would come? I figured you were above that."

"If you really knew what would come if you let yourself into my arms, you would run to me."

"So, you're in my mind now?"

"I can't help you're always thinking about me."

Ivan smiled at that, and dragged a fingertip through the heart. "Stupid demon."

~.~

"Father, we think you're sick."

Ivan stopped in the middle of the hall. His office, sanctuary, was so close. His flask was so close. The head nun and even some of his exorcist colleagues intercepted his eager strut, doing their best to look concerned. He did not feel comforted. His heart started to hammer for much more different reasons than what it was doing for these last couple of weeks.

"Is that so?" Ivan said, not exactly meeting anybody's eye.

"Is it not obvious?"

Another worried murmur, "You've seem...out of it. Are you nauseous?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Dizzy?"

"No!"

The head nun insinuated, "Perhaps these...constant vigils into the world of demons have...taken their toll."

Ivan kept everything pricking his insides from showing on his face. "Yes! You're right." He said, since they would not leave without a proper diagnosis, "It's...all of these tails we're catching. The exorcisms...closing the rifts...it takes a lot of out of me. I am just a man, after all." Their unforgiving eyes still bored into him. "I just need to rest. So, please," he swished a hand toward his door.

"God is with you, Father," the head nun almost sneered. "And so are we."

An exorcist offered, "We could bring you up some soup!"

"And we'll pray."

"No," Ivan forced a chuckle, "I just need some rest."

"Your bad drinks will not help with that," she said.

"Goodnight."

Ivan made sure to lock his door.

~.~

That night, Ivan dreamed. The ceiling was dark, pressing onto his body. His hands twitched at his sides, but he realized he was sinking into a soft material. It was warm. Hot. The softness suffocated him. His arms wreathed, but the black did not let up. He couldn't scream.

Still, even deeper down inside, it was better than the cold.

"Shh, shh," another warmth laid on his cheek. Now, he was on top of everything, not suffocating. The source of warmth was much more pleasant, "Sweetie, you're okay."

Ivan ripped open his eyes, expecting to see nothing, but he caught the demon Alfred leaning close to his face. Some canopy reached over their heads. It wasn't his bed, but someone else's. He sputtered, "You're in my dreams now?"

"You were having a nightmare," Alfred pointed out, still gentle against his cheek. "I can help with that."

"Where is this? Dream realm?"

"It's Hell."

Ivan felt his eyes go wide.

Alfred let out a titter, "You're unconscious, and yes, this is a dream. I just wanted to show you what it's really like, since you're so persistent that there's just horror and blood at every corner."

"It's quiet."

"Yes."

"Is that good?"

"Do you like the quiet?"

"Sometimes?"

Alfred put on a tight smile that didn't reach his pretty eyes, "Those other times...it's much better when you're with someone else, isn't it?"

"Are you lonely, Alfred?"

"Aren't you?" The King of Hell caressed his palms to Ivan's cheeks, radiating warmth inside and out, "Darling, it can be so different for the both of us. But only if we make it that way."

Ivan murmured, "Alfred..."

Alfred's mouth cracked open, going wide. Ivan crushed his eyebrows together, getting uneasy...until Alfred unleashed an overpowering yawn. "Wow. That's...why don't we talk face-to-face?" He winced, "Getting into your mind and trudging through years of repressed emotions and abuse is kind of knocking me out."

Ivan just stared.

"Come outside," the demon insisted. "I want to see your smile for real."

The world was quiet. Was that the popping of magma in the distance? Not to mention the heat, too. He felt himself sweat in his socks, but surely that warmth was better than shivering and never stopping? Ivan mustered a meager nod. Alfred leaned down and pressed his lips to his forehead, and it felt worth it in the end.

When Ivan awoke, he swore the warming touch against his cheeks lingered all the way outside.

~.~

Common sense stopped screaming weeks ago. It was just a itty claw, chipping the back of Ivan's brain space about the situation. About Alfred's true nature. He didn't want to doubt the demon anymore. Maybe he could feel things. Maybe he could be happy.

Maybe they both could be happy. Maybe violence was not always the answer.

Maybe Ivan was a fool.

He kept walking at a brisk pace, eager to ditch the church and its sleeping occupants late into the night. Despite himself, Ivan let out teeny giggle, like he was a young teen sneaking out of their parent's home, or a prisoner out of their cell.

...or a priest hurrying into a demon's clutch.

"Darling," the dark air soothed. Ivan immediately stopped, keeping his breath from catching. A pool of wispy smoke curled around his feet, anticipating him for a moment before Alfred slipped out of a nearby alley. A gracious purr, and he pressed close, much warmer, much more alive than any dream could muster. Ivan kept his hands at his sides, not fighting as clawed palms took a hold and pulled them to Alfred's waist, telling him exactly where he wanted to be held. Their eyes finally met, and Ivan let out a quiet scoff from it all.

"There it is." A twitchy tail wound around Ivan's calf as Alfred leaned in and murmured against his neck, "Baby, it's cold."

"You're such a peculiar thing."

The demon pressed a long, yet soft kiss to the crook of Ivan's jaw, before pulling back enough to put a palm to his own chest, "I am... _legitimately_ happy to see you."

A thoughtful hum. Ivan wanted him to do that again. All according to this fiend's plan, no doubt.

"Do you still think otherwise, sweetheart?"

"I have plenty of reasons to."

A bat of the eyes. A toothy grin exposed fangs. "Despite you being just as dangerous to me, as I am to you?"

"Really?" Ivan caught himself copying his smile from ear-to-ear. "How am I dangerous to you, Alfred? I'm just me, an itty bitty priest trying to pass the time."

"Oh, don't give me that bull." Alfred tugged on Ivan's coat, pulling closer to run kisses up his cheek, to his ear, "Exorcists think we can't love. That we can't feel things you do. Even if that was true, I am more than capable of yearning for your smell, to listen to you laugh. I enjoyed the way you blushed when you had too much to drink. They say this sort of thing makes you weak, but I've felt nothing but strength in my steps on my way to you." He lowered himself from his tip-toes, staring with an intensity that Ivan could not look away from, "How can I prove that to you?"

"I...I am not sure. Not yet." Ivan sighed at himself, "I am sure I sound stupid right now, Alfred, but I am not good with these sort of things."

"Then...kiss me?" Alfred squeaked. His fingers landed on Ivan's chin, close to his lips, "I've seen you run your mouth before. Show me it works better than your brain."

Ivan murmured, already leaning down, catching the so-called fiend closer to himself, "This would not...complete the deal, yes?"

"Oh, baby, I wish it did..."

They met, and the demon immediately let out a soft moan from the back of his throat, already goading for more. Ivan teased himself with the thought that Alfred was an excellent actor. Surely he was just fumbling with his mouth, and awkwardly planting his hands together to the small of his back. Alfred's the warm one. Alfred's the one so gently, so smoothly running his hand up Ivan's cheek and capturing every bit of his attention.

Ivan jerked away despite a little whine from his companion and childish tugging to his coat, cheeks burning like a candlelight in the night. "Alfred."

Alfred tossed his arms around the back of Ivan's head and crushed their mouths together again.

Ivan's head spun. The demon had poison touch, poison lips. Poison! It was seeping pinpricks from Alfred's claws as they plunged into his hair. "Alfred," he tried against hot breath. His lungs needed air. He needed more. It was no longer a mystery why people threw their whole selves at these creatures, if this is what it got him! Nothing, no joy, no life, no breath (or lack thereof) filled him with such want, such a desire to _be_ wanted, the thought of getting a chance to share that said want until this moment! None of the years in the church, and certainly none of the years before that even _thought_ to give it to him.

Alfred yanked away with a gasp, jerking his head to the side and gazing out into the street.

Oh, but if it was fake, Ivan would be devastated. Perhaps devastated enough to eagerly surrender his own life, as it caused so much pain and guilt! His gaze swept Alfred's neck, his flushed cheeks, even in the sparse street lights, and leaped on the opportunity to stuff his face into the crook of his jaw.

Alfred flinched and breathlessly laughed, "Darlin'..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I thought I heard something." Alfred assured, "It's nothing," even though Ivan had no intention on releasing his catch anytime soon. What? For the cold night air to steal it all away? "Come back with me."

"Hm, no."

"Ivan. Pl-ea-se?"

"Keep begging."

"You're a demon."

Ivan had to laugh at that one. "I am having too much of a good time, Alfred. Do not take my soul."

"We'll just have to see about that."

~.~

Ivan made sure to close the rear church door met its hatch quietly. He hardly heard it shut. Good. He shrugged off his coat, sighing in bliss to get the chill off his shoulders, and of course, sighing because of Alfred.

How was it a bad thing?

The place was silent. Everyone should be in bed at the hour. Soon, Ivan would be, too. Scarce candles flickered in the windows, guiding him toward the stairs.

"Father."

Ivan almost jumped out of his skin. He spun around too quickly, his hand in the cookie jar. It was too late; a small congregation of exorcists, and of course, the head nun emerged from the seclusion of the shadows of the upper floor.

"The hour is late."

Ivan flinched from her unnecessary call. "You're right!"

They just stared. Waiting.

"I would like to go to bed."

"That certainly did not stop you from stepping out in the first place, now did it?"

Ivan tipped his head as if to prompt her to move on.

Her eyes slid away from his figure, and her voice came out dull, "Come with us."

"Must I?"

"Certainly."

Ivan swept his weary gaze over the small gathering. One, at that moment, dropped a blade from his sleeve, face contorted in obvious disgust. He let out a light sigh from the dramatics, and glanced to the door. His coat was right there. He could run out, back into the night, but there were things that would be left behind in his office. Perhaps they were not that great of importance on the bigger scale of things-

Another stepped in the exit's direction, lifting her chin and narrowing her eyes. Ivan had stalled a moment too long. Damn it all. He followed the rest of them to the basement. It couldn't be good. That was where they kept pesky demons that were plump with information. Or those unfortunately to be possessed by one, taken down to be 'cured.' Past bookshelves filled with old tomes, some end tables, paintings, they took him to a stone-walled room. A lone chair waited in the middle of the empty space. Ivan slowed, staring at it.

Someone jabbed his back. They did not need to tell him to sit.

As soon as Ivan's butt found the seat, a couple of his fellow exorcists moved in and wound leather bands around his wrists, pinning them to the arms of the chair. "Is this necessary?!"

The head nun announced, "You've been captured by a demon. It is a shame we have not noticed sooner. Please, work with us, Father."

Ivan asked his 'friends,' "Must you clasp that so tightly?" He looked up when ignored, squinting at the shadow of the nun's veil, "Captured, Sister? What do you mean?"

Her voice was sharp, undoubtedly and barely holding back her own personal discontent for his existence, "Don't play coy. We have witnessed you in the company of a demon. Not just any demon, either. The King of Demons."

The realization crashed on his chest; their little meet in the middle of the night...he was followed. The church saw everything. Hot embarrassment ran down to his toes. Ivan considered being a little shit-head and ask them if they liked what they saw.

She continued, "He has lured you out of the church and led you to be vulnerable, hidden from the light of our Lord."

"Were we always safe from him, inside the church? You saw Alfred come in here completely unfazed before."

"Hmph. Have no fear, Father." The head nun swished a hand against the candle lights, "Even great men have fallen prey to these heinous creatures."

Footsteps scrapped against the stone floor. Sloshing. Ivan flinched in time for his face to get splashed. He let out a sharp exhale through his nose as holy water dribbled down his chin and uncomfortably speckled his lap. Spitting, he muttered, "Thank you." Someone stepped from behind. A heavier substance poured over his head. Holy oil. Ivan said, "Please do not set me on fire."

A few proddings, crosses, muttering, symbols, even salt sprinkled on top of these holy concoctions. An exorcist even forced a spoonful of salt down Ivan's gullet. They gawked as he choked, spat some of it out, but he managed, "Can I have something to drink then, please?!"

Holy water was on the menu.

One of the exorcists pointed out, "No reactions, ma'am."

"A powerful demon," she concluded the first round of testing, "needs powerful measures against it."

Others rushed around, and once they knelt down, Ivan heard the scratching of chalk against the floor. He sighed at too-familiar lines. "Wow, surprising."

"Father," the nun sneered, "are you taking this seriously?"

"Oh, yes!" Ivan lied, "Of course."

"You, out of all of us, have been on the front lines for years. You know them the most. You know their tricks, their schemes!" Her pacing stopped on a whispery-scold, "Have they finally broken you, Father?"

Ivan had to let out a weak laugh. His mouth tasted of salt. "Weren't I already a broken man when I stumbled onto your doorstep?"

"So you take in this...this demon in hopes of mending yourself?"

"I have not taken him anywhere. I do not possess him, and he does not possess me. He just wants one thing."

Some of the exorcists looked up from their scrawling. An exorcism sigil. A big, ugly one. If Ivan was unholy, it would hurt. "Just me. Then he will put an end to the rifts tearing into our world, and that includes the flow of demons!"

"Father," again, distraught barely held back, "please do not tell me you are a fool as to believe him!"

Another exorcist flung droplets at Ivan while lowly chanting. "He is an extreme outlier in many ways, Sister!"

"Demons lie!"

"Why would he need to lie?! Do you not understand his power? He rips those veils through our worlds on a whim! Consider it a blessing he offers to put an end to them."

"A blessing?!" The exorcist flinging water onto Ivan snorted, increasing his watery fervor. "From a demon?! Sister, it's worse than we thought!"

Ivan spoke over whatever the head nun started to spew, "The demons you hear about, pillaging, dealing, conniving, are the ones you're most wary of! They speak for the rest of them. Do our murderers and thieves speak on the behalf of humanity?"

"These are demons! Cast out of Heaven for turning on God's will-"

"Let us keep Heavenly politics out of this for now," Ivan sourly suggested. He jerked his head to his watery assailant, "Can you stop that now? If something was going to happen, I am very sure it would have happened already!"

The man gave him a disgusted look, and dumped the rest of his bowl over Ivan's head. "I can't believe it! What could that...that _thing_ offer you in return that you cannot find through the light of God?"

"Companionship."

As Ivan's watery assailant wandered to put his bowl down, the head nun picked up her pacing again. "You find friends and family through the church. This is what we are here for."

Ivan did not feel comforted, instead simmering in snark, "I do not see any of you warming my bed at night."

The exorcists were quiet, but their intrigue and disgust blanketed his still-oily head.

Low, cold, the nun broke her restraints, voice cracking, "You are willing to give yourself up to the King of Hell...for sex?!"

Ivan busted his gut in laughter...until the nearby exorcist snatched another bowl of holy water and poured down the back of his shirt. He growled in annoyance and began to shiver. "Dear Sister, it is far more simple than you make it out to be. Alfred makes me feel warm. He makes me feel wanted."

"God wants you!"

"An entity that has make no hint of this to me."

The nun pulled her thin lips back, most definitely not in a smile, "That, dear Father, is something called _faith."_

"Alfred," Ivan spat back just as venomously, "banishes the terrors on my mind that no holiness or faith or any amount of praying and weird dancing has ever done."

"Then you must have not been taking your prayers seriously. How do you expect the angels to, if you don't?"

"Demons are expected to desire revenge, to tinker with God's creations, but they have never let me down. Do you know who has, Sister?" Ivan let his voice and fury climb against the chill of the stone walls, "The same people that come here, trembling with your so-called faith, throwing themselves from the pews, only to go home and spit on their children as my own father did, or to turn their nose at their sickly parents or neighbors! Or to speak with such disdain to those who need just an extra push to get things done than other people!"

The head nun strode toward Ivan's chair. He expected her to strike him. Instead she bent forward, voice low, "You would rather spend eternity with demons than try to remedy that?"

Ivan leaned forward as much as he could, fists straining against his binds, "Their means to an end are simply more predictable than ours will ever be."

She spun around in a fury of cloth, "Is that sigil ready?"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Call your demon, Father!"

Ivan stared.

"Or rot in this seat and let him wonder where you are...if you insist he cares so much about you."

"What, you aren't going to...toss me out?"

"That is what you wanted, isn't it? Well, certainly you would understand, if you have an ounce of sanity left, that an opportunity to cremate the King of Hell is not one to be taken lightly."

"No! That...Sister, please, that is not a good idea!"

"You're scared of him!" An exorcist cried. "I knew it!"

"I'm not!" Ivan shouted back. "Alfred can be very kind and soft, but do not take advantage of that! He can and will slaughter you if you press on him too much!"

"This proves everything!" The nun declared. "Call your demon, or we will do it ourselves. That sigil on your blade will come of use for once."

Ivan wondered. The same sigil Alfred left on his knife around the time they first acquainted with one another? That did not exactly summon him, so to say. It wouldn't work. Alfred would get the memo, sure, but would he really come? He found himself smirking in his oily, soaked seat.

"Well? Must we do it ourselves?"

"Go ahead," Ivan said. "Try."

The exorcists looked to the nun. After a moment, she nodded. "We will begin."

They positioned at certain points of the sigil, and she began, "Demon Alfred, King of Hell, we call you. Show yourself to us! Demon Alfred, King of Hell, show yourself. Demon Alfred..."

Ivan lowered his head, and mentally drew a clear image; sharp blue eyes, slits so unusually tender and full of affection as a warm body softened against him. A purr to draw him closer...was he doing that right?

"Baby," a croon answered Ivan's calls. "I like that."

"You're here?"

"Yeah, I'm close by. There are these old fogies that keep bugging me, though. I'm starting to get a headache."

"Ah, yes...those old fogies are my fellow church members!"

Said church members had stopped their chanting to stare. Ivan kept his eyes shut, in tune to only the voice in his head, "Are you all right?"

"I am tied down at this moment. Literally tied down."

"Oh, oh, _darling!"_

"Not...not in that sort of situation!"

Alfred grew quiet. "Where are you?"

"In the church basement."

"They saw us."

"Yes." Ivan picked up his head, meeting their glares eye-to-eye. "They want to meet you."

"I'm guessing they want to talk and share some tea, right?"

"A very bad guess from you, Alfred. For shame."

The candles' lights went out in a gust of air. The inhabitants let out a soft cries of shock.

Ivan smiled in the darkness, "He received your message, but I'm his favorite. He will only come if I call."

The head nun snapped over foot steps skittering back and forth, exorcists trying for light again, "That was a test, Father. You could have lured him here, so we could finally be done with him."

"Oh, dear Sister, _we just got started!"_

A few flashlights flickered on, shining around the empty walls. One shone on Ivan's face, and despite him squinting, he pulled a grin. "If you can, please do not make a mess of yourself. Do not kill them. How can they learn if they're dead?!"

The circle of exorcism outlined the summoning sigil. Ivan was inside of it. He almost voiced his doubts on the matter, but something struck the stone walls.

A hiss.

The church members fanned out with various stakes and lights pointed to the darkness. Some even clutched crosses. Footsteps. One flicked his light up, catching a spooky face. "Boo!"

The exorcist screamed.

A glint of metal swung in Alfred's direction, holy material brimming with demon-be-gone, but it caught air.

"Stay calm!" The nun called. She must have been in the middle of it all, throwing orders. Ivan glared in her direction. "In the end, it's just a demon."

Cackles bounced off the floor, disrupting into pieces between the group. They twisted side-to-side, trying to pinpoint the source. Someone gasped, "He just touched me!"

Alfred said, "You have soft cheeks!"

The exorcist threw out his arm, hand clutching a flask, probably full of holy oil, but Alfred caught his forearm. The man drew a sharp breath as several flashlights landed on their faces, making the demon smile and pull closer. "Get in the sigil!" The man tried to yank backwards. Alfred kept a firm hold on his arm. His toe was right against the sigil's paint. Eyes flickered between his grin and the border. He stepped over the marks.

The group yelled and dispersed.

"Why y'all yelling? It's just paint, anyway." Alfred twisted his prisoner's arm, earning a crack and a screech of pain. The flask fell, spilling onto the floor. He tossed the guy after his colleagues with ease. They scrambled to catch him or to get away. One ignited a box of matches and tossed it at Alfred's feet. He leaped away as soon as the oil spread on the floor ignited. "Yeah! That could sting a little." He caught sight of Ivan, and the smarmy grin stretching across his features were supposed to be life. "Sweetheart, hold on-"

An exorcist stepped between them, and slung some kind of rod. It whistled as it caught air, as Alfred ducked, and flipped the man's legs from under himself.

"That man is coming with me!"

Someone set off a flare and waved it in Alfred's face, "Like Hell we'll just give him away!"

"Ha! You said like Hell!" Alfred clamped a hand over the sparkler, and it went dark, "That's funny!"

A scream. Another body hit the floor.

Ivan groaned, "Can we not do this?"

Someone stepped in front of his chair. Based on the sweep of fabric, it was the nun. "You once asked me if I ever fought a demon. I have! My whole life, as soon as I could shoot bullets. I cut them down and down again, not caring who I scarred in the process. No more, I thought. It was time to come clean, and lead people into the light that I have once dragged through the darkness."

Ivan gawked at her silhouette. "What?"

"Grab him already!" An exorcist shouted.

"Sorry, man, he's fast!"

"There are like, seven of you!"

"You could help!"

Someone tried to jam a flare in Alfred's ear. She continued over the shouting and scrabbling, "Yet tonight is different. I hope God can forgive me, but I am taking up my old mantle once more."

Alfred sent his assailant into a wall with a hefty shove to the stomach. He turned to the nun, smiling all the way. "Hey, Missy, you done with your life story? Go easy on me, all right?"

A click, and a barrel of a shotgun aimed at the demon's face.

"Whoa, lady, isn't it illegal for you to even look at that thing-"

Ivan would leap out of his seat as the basement filled with a bang. Pained groans followed, coming through the ringing that rattled his eardrums. He gave his head a shake, but it did not help much. A body hit the floor.

The gun cocked. The nun still stood.

Ivan felt his mouth open wide. It felt funny to talk past the whirlwind in his mind, "Alfred."

Nothing. No mind games.

The nun barked, "Those of you who can, get him tied down."

"Ma'am...his head is blown off."

Ivan ducked his head, sucking in breath against the tightening against his chest as a flashlight shone on Alfred not having his.

"Do as I say! His fingers are already twitching!" Boots hit the floor. Dragging. Candles lit once more, and the exorcists stuck their blades into the wax. It was the binding spell first used on the demon. The nun caught Ivan gawking, and she walked over to a table and opened a book to a certain tab. "Recognize this?"

"That would only send him away-"

"But if he's already bound, what would it do? Send him away, yet he's pinned. I assume it would hurt, at the very least."

The set-up was almost complete. Alfred's hands were bound together behind his back, his wings drooped limply on the floor. Ivan winced as a careless boot treaded over one of them. A stream of smoke emerged from where his head would be. "Alfred."

The nun stepped away, flicking her veil over her shoulder, "We will deal with him, and you will watch it all. Maybe then it will sever the strings he hooked into your soul!"

"I'm not possessed!" Ivan croaked. "Please, just let us go. We will not bother you ever again. You will never see us ever again!"

She just clucked in disapproval. Someone started a chant, and thin, glowing lines emerged from the candles on the floor, securing him the unforgiving stone. Alfred's form thrashed, and his wings twitched against his binds. "See? He is still alive. Keep your wits about you. Oh, and do not try to pile-drive him. It didn't work the first time."

Alfred unleashed a guttural groan, tail becoming animated and thrashing as his legs scrambled against the floor. "What...ugh..."

Ivan gave his binds another yank, unable to help a deep growl of annoyance and helplessness. Annoyance from his helplessness.

"I blew a chunk of your headspace away, demon, but do you remember where you are?"

"Shut up," Alfred bemoaned, "I have a headache."

"I'm sure it's more than a headache right now."

"Alfred," Ivan started. "I didn't mean for this to happen to you. Please do not be angry-"

The nun announced, "Thanks to your studies and research, Father, we have ways to finally counteract even the stronger demons. We will purge this evil from the land, and the world will have you to thank for it."

Wetness (beside the sticky holy oil) trailed down Ivan's cheek. He kicked his legs, trying to heave his seat from the ground, but his position and the sheer weight of the wood kept his rooted. "Damn it!" He started to writhe his arms, falling into cursing in Russian. There was a blade in his...oh, never mind; that was in his coat pocket, back upstairs.

"What do you expect, Father? Demons have to be dealt with."

"Shut up!"

As if animated from the yell, Alfred gave another thrash. A gust of shadows blew out the candles.

"Light them again!"

Fire snapped. The exorcists went around the circle, relighting the candles. A crack ran up one wall and split open, spilling green light into the room. Alfred's claws flexed behind his back as he released a soft snarl and whispered something indiscernible.

"He's trying to open a portal!"

One of the exorcists bounded forward and stuck some sort of staff against the back of his neck. The demon hunched up and produced a pained squall. Ivan clenched his teeth together as the crack in the wall snapped shut.

"Ah, good. Got it before it could stabilize."

Ivan finally heaved the chair from the floor, stumbling forward.

"Hey, hey!" The exorcists called, swarming him, and slammed the chair legs back down. One even cuffed the back of his head. "Demon lover."

"What were you thinking, Father?"

"Baby..."

They drew a breath from the croak coming from the floor.

"It's going to be okay."

Ivan whispered, "How, Alfred?"

The nun called, "Ignore them. We must not waste anymore time. He regains his strength by the second."

Ivan reminded them, but of course, his voice cracked, "You could be free of us if you just let us go!"

"I'm sure the holy symbols won't have an effect on him for long. Quickly! Places!"

The group hustled back to their weapons.

Alfred let out a hiss, but his shoulders shook. He was laughing. "Hey, hey, wait! You don't need to do all that! I'll tell you something right now!"

"Tell us something good, demon, or this sword is going down your gullet."

"Watch out for flying glass."

"What-"

The lone window shattered, unleashing a howl of night onto their ritual. The exorcists shouted, ducking and ditching their horrid concoctions as glass pelted for soft skin.

Alfred cackled against his binds.

The nun yelled for everyone to get together, but even she yipped as a particular array of smoke pulled on her robes.

Ivan kept his head low, but there was no glass within several feet of his chair. "What?" He called over the ruckus and swoops of weapons trying to cut air, "You called for an army of demons?!"

"Nah, they wouldn't listen! I called my brother!"

"You have a brother?!"

Dark clouds poured into the basement, washing the candles into the night and converging onto the exorcists. Ivan found himself unusually jumpy. An exorcist stumbled and bumped into his chair, both yelping in fright.

"What is happening?!" The nun ducked in and out of screaming men and women, and yanked Alfred's head up by his hair, "What did you just say? Answer me, heathen!"

Another gust of wind knocked her on her feet, shoes up. Alfred laughed, and the candles ignited again in beat to the wind running over it before they exploded one-by-one into clumps of hot wax. The blades glinting in the moonlight glowed unnaturally, and scalded their wielder's hands.

"Hey, man!" Alfred called, "Don't kill them! My honey's feeling merciful."

A much lighter voice quieted the furious howls of wind, "I-I didn't kill them! They'll survive...if they get medical attention eventually."

Something warm brushed Ivan's arms. Some _one_ warm. He jumped, looking up to see piercing violets amongst the darkness, and the binds against his wrists finally snapped. He was free. "I don't know how to get those holy binds off of Alfred!"

Ivan shoved out of the chair and stumbled until he fell on his knees beside Alfred.

"Hi, baby."

"Hello." Ivan put a hand between Alfred's wings and whispered a psalm. The binds soon disintegrated. Immediately, Alfred shot from the floor in a fury of wingbeats and snarls, zipping across the room. The cries of confusion and fright were dying off as exorcists scrambled out of the basement, back to the sanctuary of the main commons upstairs. Yet somebody screamed in retaliation above it all - the head nun.

What could only be a metal blade scraped the floor followed several punches against the wall. All with her screeching the whole time.

Ivan shouted, "Alfred?!"

The nun's freakish wails tapered off to grunts of confusion.

"Ha...don't worry, babe. I just strung her up to the wall by her clothes."

"What is this?!" The old lady hollered, heels kicking into the stone. "You fool! Disgrace! You will burn! Your soul, your body, everything! I hope its worth it!"

Ivan put a hand to his chest, despite her probably not seeing the half-hearted gesture, "You hope for me? What an act of mercy for you." He jumped as Alfred darted across the room once more, swooping down to throw himself into Ivan's arms. "Oh, Alfred! Be careful!"

"Baby!" Alfred cried a moment before a pair of lips were on his own.

The extraneous voice noted, "Oh, that's cool, I guess."

Ivan had to laugh, "You kiss like you are drunk."

Again, from the other voice, "I didn't need to know that."

The nun hollered, "This isn't over!"

Ivan smiled through the darkness, "I think it is for now."

Alfred stuffed his face into the priest's (or Ivan supposed he was an ex-priest now) neck, taking a few deep breaths before looking up with a dazzling grin, "Yeah, that could have gone better, but you know what? I think it's way more fun scaring people and making them run around with their heads cut off without even cutting off their heads! I think we should start a new demon-club. No-hurting-humans-club-but-make-them-hurt-themselves-club!"

"Ah, that's...interesting," Ivan managed.

Someone cleared their throat.

"Oh!" Alfred said, "This is Mattie, by the way! Say hi, bro!"

"Um, hi. Are we going to leave that nun like that?"

"Curse you, curse you both! Demon lover! We will root out all evil from this land. You won't get away with this. God will smite your soul!"

Ivan quickly answered, "Yes."

Alfred cupped a cozy palm to his cheek. "Let's get out of here. That lady's giving me a headache. Another one, actually."

His brother, Matthew said, "I'll see you back at home." Glints-for-eyes landed on Ivan. "I guess you too?"

"Um, Mattie..."

"Oh! You didn't talk about that yet. Jeez, I just made things awkward. I-I'm just going to go now."

Dark clouds spilled out of the window.

"Yes..." Ivan tried, "Some fresh air would be nice..."

Alfred grunted and followed, quiet the whole way upstairs. The church inhabitants had scattered. Actually, one had pressed into a wall, only tattling his poor hiding spot with a whimper, but they paid no mind.

The basement was cold. The outside air was cold. The only thing warm in the world right now was Alfred against his arm. Ivan stuck the back of his hand against his cheek, wondering if he was doing it right. Blue eyes pivoted up, catching his own before Alfred slumped against his shoulder, "What the Hell did we just go through?"

"I'm sorry. I should have warned you. I didn't know they were using my own studies. They weren't even to hurt you. Not after the first time we met. I-I was just writing everything I knew about you to remember when you weren't there-"

"Dude, stop!"

Ivan clamped his mouth shut as a vicious heat chewed his face. "Sorry..."

"Don't be blaming yourself for _anything._ You hear me?!" It was sort of...cute when Alfred got serious, getting on his toes to be almost-level with Ivan, glaring beneath light lashes and cheeks puffed out, "I was the one that dove horns-first into that place. All the way from the beginning. Yeah, they got one up on me, but I would meet the void before I would ever let them keep you in a life of lies like that. That you're brainwashed. O-or that we can't feel like you can't. I had to do something. They tied you down to a chair."

Ivan offered, "Maybe they would still give me snacks?"

Alfred butted against his shoulder, grumbling, "Quit trying to make me laugh. I'm mad."

"Oh, you're..." Ivan had to laugh. Alfred picked his head up, gazing in shock. Or offense. Maybe both? "You're cute. Ah...your light hair is nice. Although the black was good, too! I just..."

"Honey..." Ivan stopped talking. For now. Alfred stretched to brush his nose against a flushed cheek, "Thank you." He set back on his heels to stare, but at least a smile began to tug at his lips, so a job well done? "Some dyes don't even last through a wash. Others, after getting your head blown off and having to regenerate it...I didn't expect much."

Ivan didn't know what to say. He stuck his fingertips together.

Alfred then busted, "I got my head blasted off for you, man! If that doesn't tell you how I feel, then fuck! I don't know what will."

"I...oh...yes, that was...I'm sure that was extremely painful." Ivan scrambled for something decent to say, "If you did not do that for...all of that, if it was just for funsies...then I think you should have my dirty, decrepit soul. You worked hard for it."

"Nuh-uh! You aren't dirty, and...well, you might be a little decrepit..." Alfred tossed his arms around Ivan's neck and pulled him down for a tough embrace, "But you're right! You better come with me now, Ivan, 'cause I'm going to...take you, and it's going to be nice and warm, and you won't have to worry about stinking winter, and I'll look out for you, and make sure you finally get some decent sleep, and...kiss you, and...and stuff! I'm not taking no for an answer anymore!"

Ivan smiled against the demon's shoulder, and wound his arms around his waist to crush him to his own body, earning a strained wince. A lovely sound, and Alfred squeezed tighter. He had nothing to lose. "Okay, Alfred. So be it. You will take care of me from now on."

"Yes, I will! We'll be a family."

Ivan had to plant kisses all over Alfred's face. Alfred raised a hand and snapped. Light cracked across the night sky, splitting into a glowing rift. They grinned at one another as wind tugged at their clothes. Alfred asked, "Are you ready?"

"Take me away, oh, vile creature."

"You're mine now, priest."


End file.
